On Respect and Other Lessons

You know what skill I've learned from high school that has proven very valuable? Don't disrespect.

What I mean by this is that no matter what you are doing, whether you're playing a sport, learning to paint, studying for physics, respect what you are doing. Respect your opponent, whether it is another person, team, exam, or just the challenge itself of doing something properly. The minute you stop taking something seriously, humble pie is going to shove itself down your throat. It may not do it all the time, but anyone who doesn't respect what they do will taste that pie at some time in her life. And of all the pies I've ever eaten, that one is by far the worst.

In seventh grade, I learned that it was possible for me to get straight As. In eighth grade, I learned that I was not a dumb kid. In ninth grade, I learned that I might actually be kind of smart. In tenth grade, I thought I was too smart for HBA.

That's what I thought. Here's what I learned: In tenth grade, I learned that you should never expect anything. Don't expect an A. Don't expect an award. Don't expect good things to shower down on you because aren't you just a brilliant little kid, aren't you? I got straight As, sure, but I also got no awards at the assembly other than the "Congrats, you got straight As" award. Deep down inside, I was disappointed and confused. Didn't I deserve one? Why were these people getting these laurels while I sat and clapped? After all, in ninth grade, I'd received one for English, one for physics, one for...Why should this year be any different?

Tenth grade was bad. I hated everything. No, I'm just about dead serious. Everything. I hated school. I hated my teachers. I hated volleyball (I really hated volleyball). I hated life. I hated God. I hated hated hated hated. Hate is a poison and it's an ugly word too (brownish red with a tinge of yellow, like a venomous snake, burning, corroding...yeah that's a whole different blog post but in short, I'm a synesthete. Google that.) It was destroying relationships, destroying optimism, destroying all sorts of things. It was mostly because I was depressed about not liking volleyball anymore, but also because I no longer felt challenged by my school work. I felt like I was behind where I should be intellectually. And of course it wasn't my fault. It was the stupid school and its stupid curriculum. Wasn't it? Of course.

That was tenth grade. As bad as it was, I came out of it a completely new person. These are the pieces of wisdom with which I walked into junior year. Don't expect to get anything. Don't take anything for granted. Learning is my choice. If I want something, I have to go get it. Don't disrespect. I think it did help that junior year classes were a significant improvement over tenth grade classes. Now I had more choices as to what my schedule would be. Now my classes were harder, but thanks to quitting volleyball, I actually had free time to spend with my friends. I had teachers who challenged me, pushed my mind to its limits. It was fun. I had so much fun. And guess what. I got a few awards. ;)

Senior year was the culmination of the things I learned over the years. I used those lessons to their fullest potential. I learned to be an optimist. I learned to love life. I learned to love myself. I learned to love learning. I learned to do things for their own sake. I learned nothing is ever as bad as it seems. When it all comes down to it, I think that a lot of these lessons stem from one thing: respect. Respect for who you are, respect for what you do and what you belong to.

Respect has become the foundation for many of my principles. If you build your life around respect, life becomes very good, I think. And if you ever forget about maintaining this respect, humble pie is not too far away and looking very not-delicious.

That's enough of my spiel on respect and why it's so important. If only people learned the lessons I learned firsthand. It's because of those lessons that when one chapel speaker had the audacity to tell us that we should want to be like him, I said, "Never." Because if there's one person I ever want to be in my life, it's me. I want to be me.