Identity Crisis

Well, to either your great joy or dismay, I have returned from being lazy and uncreative. In other words, for the past two or three weeks, I have had no idea what to say here, but just to let my one avid reader know, I am still alive in this blog. I've been wanting to do a Top 10: Battle Scenes for a while but I could never think of the last two battles. Tragic isn't it. I know I've seen some wicked battle scenes in my life, but why oh why can I not think of them.

...
Screw the rules. I'm doing a Top 9 because 10 is a lame number anyway. No one likes 10. Psh. 10 has a zero at the end and zero means nothing. Amiright??

Soo here we begin.

Top 10 that only has 9 things on it: Battle Scenes
9. Here we begin our top 10/9 with the Bombing of Pearl Harbor, the only scene I watched from the movie Pearl Harbor!! Haha! But seriously guys. When you can follow the torpedo as it plunges into the water and rams itself into the thick titanium hull of a battleship, and you can hear the motor whirring as it cuts through the oil-matted ocean, I think that merits some degree of awe.

8. San (Mononoke-hime) vs. Lady Eboshi: dude, two badass combatants in one helluva catfight. Honestly. The animation was so good in this. I love how San's blade leaves a shimmering line of light and whistles through the air with every swipe. Even better, Eboshi has the speed to rival it. I think it could have been awesomer but Ashitaka comes in to end it.

7. Mulan vs. Shan Yu (spelling???) Okay, not too many girls get to be Mulan. You're beautiful. Attractive captain has the hots for you. Not to mention, you just owned a thousand huns a few days ago and survived an avalanche. To top it all off, you can catch a crooked sword with your fan and wrench it out of a big ape-man's grasp and then pull a leg sweep on him when he lunges angrily. Not fair!

6. Autobots vs. Megatron: This is exactly what I had hoped for when I watched Transformers. Starscream jumping up and performing a midair transformation (multiple times); some Autobot pulling a matrix missile dodge in slowmo; Optimus Prime with that cool sword stabby thing, aaaaand yeaaaah....Fiery cars flying across cities. I love it.

5. Jet Li's Fearless--You know the scene when he fights his rival on that tall, wooden...thingy?? Yeah that scene. I just love the acrobatics. I love how they fight while climbing all over that thing and it seems to never end. Chinese martial arts films are just so brilliantly choreographed; they all seem to feel the need to end tragic though.

4. Kung Fu Panda--Tai Lung vs. 1000 Rhinos: Okay, first, I have to commend Dreamworks. This was pure brilliance I tell you. There was so much attention to detail and clever action sequences, I was sincerely amazed. I love the slow motion and how it emphasized every movement like Tai Lung's flipping the javelins and kicking them all back in one jump. That's what really makes a good fight scene: creativity.

3. The Princess Bride--Inigo vs. Wesley: It was pretty amazing to think about this scene. Fencing sure does not look easy. And again, here comes the creativity of the movements. It was not merely attack and defense, but hand-switching, flipping, sword catching and the works. But I think what was most amazing about this scene was that the producers had to plan every step of that complicated exchange and the actors had to pull it off! No animation here!

2. LotR--The Battle of Helm's Deep: Okay, how can this honestly not be a part of a Top battle scene list? Because this was truly a genius thing. The vicious onslaught of the orcs and uruk hai with their many different methods of breaching the castle was very well thought out. I was just impressed by the whole complexity of the scene in general, I can't really explain why I thought it was so good. It just was.

1. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon--The Catfight: You know. The catfight. The one that lasts forever and Lien uses practically every weapon in that arena. The most amazing part was that she won, despite the fact that she didn't have the special sword. Can you tell I'm getting tired here? Just watch the movie. You'll know what I mean.

Miscellaneous:
Has anyone heard of the word "re-utilize"????
I heard it on HGTV when I was in the living room with my mom and I said "RE-UTILIZE??? Is that even a word?? Why would you use something like that? Why can't you just say "re-use?"
And my mum said "...Because it's too short and easy to say?"
She cracks me up. I love my mom.