Pedantic

I can't take it. Really, I cannot. My apologies, but I just have a certain degree of scorn for the pedants. Ironic, no? I'm going to go on a pedantic rant about pedants. But do forgive me this, for I really, simply can't take it anymore.
I enjoy browsing for amateur fiction, whether it be fanfiction or not. And I'll admit that I've seen some incredibly brilliant work that, in some cases, if it weren't for copyright law, could easily be published. But I'll also go ahead and remark that these are diamonds in a very vast and very rough, well, rough. I'd say there are two types of "rough" writers. One type simply doesn't know how to write. He is an ignorant writer. He hopes to make it big in the anonymous internet, but he just has no idea what he's really doing. He does like to write a bit, and he does have ideas, but usually, he's too immature to write something good. It's likely he hasn't read an adequate amount of books. This ignorant writer can be obnoxious, but forgivable. I was a noob once. We were all noobs once. Let us forgive the noobs, and not be too cruel. Let us help them improve and hopefully learn to examine their own writing. Let us give them the benefit of the doubt that they have bitten off more than they can chew, are envious of the stars of the internet, and want to taste the world of net stardom without realizing how to get there. I can't necessarily brave too many of these rough fics all the time, but I can overlook them, because one can generally tell when someone is genuinely trying his best to tell a good story, though he may fall a little short.
Now I come to the crux of the matter. The second type of rough writer is the ignorant pedant. She thinks she knows what she's doing--but she really doesn't. These writers are all over the place. I've just witnessed one today, and I swear she gave me an aneurysm. People like her make me want to destroy all humans, until I remember that not all of them are like that. Now let me tell you what the ignorant pedant likes to do, and it is most excruciating, might I add? The ignorant pedant likes to do what pedants do: tell the ignorant forgivable noobs how to write better. Granted, I'll admit the ignorant pedant has enough writing skills to give herself confidence to boss other people around--isn't that why she's a pedant? But she thinks she's learned everything there is to know about grammar, when really, she hasn't. Coming from my English background, I know that I still fail at grammar, and the only thing that saves me is the vast amount of reading I have done over the course of my life. I have enough knowledge to know that when I see something bad, it's bad. I think that, after having so many people, peers and teachers alike, tell me I'm good at writing, after winning an essay contest, after acquiring a 740 on the SAT verbal section, after taking the AP English exam for two respective AP courses and earning a 5 on at least one (I haven't received the other score yet), I think I have some respectability in this field. I think I am safe to say that, though criticizing anyone's writing puts me at the risk of being what I am currently bashing, I have enough credentials to have a bit more of a say than some fearless individuals who like to speak the first word that comes to mind because they feel protected by the anonymity of the internet. But enough of my tangential disclaimer. Someone, somewhere will accuse me of being a hypocrite, and I'll have to live with that.
My point is--I apologize for taking forever to get here--I can't stand when someone who really doesn't know how to write tries to condescendingly "teach" others how to do it right. And these poor little ignorant saps actually praise this person: they don't know any better! The blame is not on them--though they don't help the matter at hand. They don't know that they should want to weep blood when their foolish, disdainful, quack teacher makes errors like "loose the fight" or repeats the same filler words (Filler words! In text, my good people, in text! Unlike speaking, you have time to think about what you say; so think!) five times within five sentences. Thus, I weep blood for them. And it is a healthy--or unhealthy, whatever you please--dosage of blood that I weep indeed! The worst part is these horrible, ignorant people cannot take criticism. When someone bashes them, they cry to their adoring public who readily support them. They make a great show of how they have been attacked in their poor innocence. They were just trying to improve the writing community! Yeah brutha, you'd to better to improve the writing community by improving your own writing first. And next time, if you want to say "Get the f*** out," the acronym is GTFO, not GTFU. I don't even know what the latter is supposed to be.
I will not claim I am perfect. I won't bother going into any further argument about how I admit I am a hypocrite, therefore you can't accuse me of being one etc etc because we're all hypocrites so get over it etc etc. Hypocrisy is moot.
Just get this: if you are going to condescend to share your superior knowledge--and superior it very well may be--don't be condescending! When you give advice, give it kindly, not as though you're talking to imbeciles--even if you are! Do not make excuses for yourself and learn how to be diplomatic, not middle-schoolish, when replying to a flame. And if you're going to bash other people's writing skills, make sure you've given your writing a second look. Get a beta*, even if you are a beta yourself. Edit, edit, edit. Make your writing perfect. Remove the plank from your eye before removing the speck of dust from your friend's. People will respect you more if you tell them what to do with a firm but credible authority.
That is all.
Ironically, I haven't checked this for grammar. *isbricked*
*beta: a grammar-savvy writer who religiously scans your writing for errors before you actually publish it, thus making you look less dumb.